i fucking knew it straight away. i felt it implant. really low. i didn’t know you could feel pain there it was so low. not like on periods. my boobs got so big and sore. i got really hungry. i couldn’t stop. i got tired. i got sniffly. i missed my period. i felt different. my whole body felt different. my sex drive disappeared. if you’re in touch with yourself, it doesn’t take a missed period to know you’re pregnant. i knew before i saw that faint pink line. and another thing, you don’t know bloating until you’re pregnant.
i feel like a fat, saggy, gassy, leaking mess, with swollen boobs and a fuckn nappy. there’s so much not knowing. not knowing if your period will come. not knowing if the bleeding will stop, not knowing what to do, not knowing what will happen, not knowing what a bleed means, not knowing how he will react. just not knowing what to do. not knowing if the bleeding means it will just take care of itself.
finding out I’m pregnant has been one of the most terrifying, exciting, heartbreaking experiences of my life. I wish I was in any other position.
everyone is applying for things and being exhibited and i’m still skipping breakfast and hating my body
remember when i was so scared of terrorism i couldn’t leave my house without being scared of being shot
When you leave immediately post fuck, pulling your undies on as the cum is still seeping out of you, clambering into a taxi and sitting in your wet undies, brushing hairs back into place
Work is shit. Uni is shit. The one person that makes me feel better about work makes me feel shit about everything else. My friend situation is shit. I feel like I have none. My love life is shit. I’m dating a dick head. Fuck everything.
